The Power of Our Words

As adults, we often overlook the emotions behind our words. We speak without thinking, unaware that what we say can change someone's life for better or worse. This is especially true when we’re talking to or around children.

Why do we carefully craft words of encouragement or inspiration but so easily, without thought, speak words of hurt and criticism? The truth is, the negative words we say often leave a deeper imprint than any positive quote we throw out into the world.

Think about it how many times have you held onto a hurtful comment from years ago? Maybe a friend told you that you weren’t pretty. Maybe a boy broke your heart and said something cruel. Maybe a family member, someone who was supposed to love and protect you, made you feel small with their words. When they spoke, they weren’t thinking about you. They were reacting to their own emotions, unable to process them in a healthy way. And so, without realizing the weight of their words, they passed their pain onto you.

We carry those words with us. They shape the way we see ourselves.

For as long as I can remember, my inner voice told me I wasn’t smart enough. Not smart enough to get good grades. Not smart enough to write for the school newspaper. Not smart enough to graduate high school or go to college. That inner dialogue didn’t come from nowhere it was planted by someone else’s words.

Can you imagine a teacher telling a child they aren’t smart enough to graduate? That even if they did, they’d never make it to college? That’s exactly what a teacher told me when I was nine years old. I carried those words for most of my life.

Yet as adults, we expect children and young people to handle their emotions without much guidance. But how can we expect a nine-year-old to process heartbreak when a forty-year-old can’t even manage their own? Children are mirrors. When they don’t know how to react, they mimic what they see.

If a child watches an adult throw a tantrum after being told "no," what do you think they’ll do the next time they face rejection? They will mirror the behavior they’ve been shown. And yes, it’s still a tantrum whether you’re two years old or a hundred.

So how do we change this?

It starts with us. We, as adults, the ones who are supposed to know better, need to do better. We must learn to handle our emotions in a healthy way so that we can model that for the next generation.

This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine. Emotions aren’t bad. Sadness, frustration, anger they’re all part of the human experience. But we must learn to express them without causing harm.

So the next time you’re about to speak, pause. Ask yourself:

• Is this true?
• Is this kind?
• Is this necessary?

Because the words we choose today will become someone’s inner voice tomorrow. Let’s make sure we give them something worth holding onto.

And if you’re someone who has carried the weight of hurtful words, know this you are not defined by them. The things that were said to you, about you, in moments of anger or thoughtlessness, do not have to be your truth. You can rewrite that inner voice. You can choose words that uplift, heal, and empower not just for others, but for yourself.

Healing starts with awareness. Change begins with intention. And a kinder world starts with the words we speak.